Searches and Thoughts
April 30, 2009
You will be happy to know that today this blog is going to register its 10,000th hit. Even though 8,000 of them are probably from my sisters and grandmother combined, I still find it extraordinary.
So I thought today would be a good day to share with you a few nuggets from my Search Engine Terms dashboard. The SET shows me the terms people googled when they landed here. It is highly entertaining and, sometimes, quite disconcerting.
Here are the winners, from the most hits to the most improbable.
– “Chuck Bass” : I have to admit, no one comes close to Chuck. He has scored more than a thousand SET points under various spellings (“chuk bas“, “chuch bass“, “I am chuck cossip girl“…). What amazes me, mind you, is not that a blog dedicated to life in India gets the most hits from a 17-year old billionaire rake, anti-hero of an American TV-series. No. What is beyond me is that I have tried. I have googled “chuck bass” expecting to see this blog appear in the results. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. At the 17th page there was still no trace of yours truly. My question is: who, for heaven’s sake, has the time, inclination, desperation and mental dysfunction to look beyond the 17th page of a google search? But hey Chuck, mate, keep it up.
– “Fat Buddha”: I had no idea fat Buddhas were so popular. It’s the “fat” that disturbs me, but maybe I am just not familiar with this religion. The spellings, as usual, are versatile to say the least. I got “the big fat buddha“, “cool fat buddah“, and my favorite, zen, minimalist, non-plussed and with an east-European feel to it: “fat buda“.
– “young earnest hemmingway”, I have to say, fills my heart with joy. That the man’s talent even reaches to illiterate people is only one more proof of his genius.
– To this day my favorite is “arranged marriage tea biscuits“. There is something here that I am totally missing and which is driving me mad with curiosity. I want to meet the person who typed this. I want to see where he/she lives, what he/she reads, what he/she eats and who, in his circle of friends and relatives, has put in him/her the mind-gripping, tantalizing, and let me just say beguiling idea that arranged marriages have somehow something to do with tea (and) biscuits? Has an auntie said: “tomorrow this boy is coming home to meet you, please wear your orange sari and get some tea and biscuits ready” and has she got online, driven by anguish, to find out what sort of tea biscuits she should serve to the man who is coming to check her out and marry her in exchange of a fridge and a scooter?
– However, as any blogger would know, the most common searches tend to involve some kinky business – I get on a daily basis a florilege of searches such as: “wet sari chick“, “hook up with desi girl“, “massage happy end delhi” (try Bangkok), “massage parlour sex paharganj delhi” (darling honey, they really are dingy).
It is endless and it does make one think. So think I did. And looking at the SET, I realized something. People who have a satisfactory sex life do not look beyond the 17th page.